Friday, June 25, 2010

How To Make A Parent......

.......... go from totally oblivious to their demonseed's actions to psycho, raving lunatic that wonders how you could say something to their precious wittle angel, in 10 seconds.

Several months back I was sitting in McD's located in either a Love's or Pilot truck stop. After making several produce pick ups & getting about 500 miles down the road, I was totally whipped. While sitting there waiting for my shower I figured I'd at least try & shove something that almost resembles food down my throat.

After being there about 10 minutes this woman comes in with her 6 screaming heathens. *insert me wanting to die* But of course they decide to sit behind me. *shudder* *cry* *twitch* I continue to try & enjoy my food resembling product when I feel someone flipping my hair. I turn around & come face to face with a boy of about 4.

This is how it got really ugly, really fast.

Me: *staring at boy* "Do you know I just got out of prison?"

Boy: *eyes get really big* "What did you do?"

Me: "I killed a snot nosed brat for playing with my hair."

Boy: *eyes bulge out of socket, turns around & plops his ass down*

cue Mom

Mom: "You can't say things like that to children."

Me: "Well, I believe I just did."

Mom: "He was just playing."

Me: "I guess now he will think twice about fucking with someone strangers hair."

Mom: *insert vague threats to my person here*

Me: "I have an idea. Why don't you take your children home & put them in bed, seeing as how it is almost midnight?"

Mom: *insert more threats & nonsense*

intercom: Shower card #10 please report to the fuel desk

Me: *grabs shower bag & walks to fuel counter*

I just want to know why for the love of all that is fucking holy, would you be feeding your kids at a truck stop at midnight??? Don't they have beds they should be in? Maybe teach your kid some manners. How to behave in public. Or respect other people's personal space. I've got a really novel idea, how about being their parent instead of their friend??

Wednesday, June 23, 2010


I have decided to open my own little, child-free corner of the intertwebz. Here I will extol the virtues of being child-free, as well as posting comments about bad or non parenting.

So if you are here to tell me how spechul your little snoflaks are, just go the fuck away. Because I don't care & no matter how many times you tell me it will be different if I had one of my own, I'm not going to change my mind.

If you have questions or something you would like me to post about, you can contact me at speshul snoflak at gmail.