Several months back I was sitting in McD's located in either a Love's or Pilot truck stop. After making several produce pick ups & getting about 500 miles down the road, I was totally whipped. While sitting there waiting for my shower I figured I'd at least try & shove something that almost resembles food down my throat.
After being there about 10 minutes this woman comes in with her 6 screaming heathens. *insert me wanting to die* But of course they decide to sit behind me. *shudder* *cry* *twitch* I continue to try & enjoy my food resembling product when I feel someone flipping my hair. I turn around & come face to face with a boy of about 4.
This is how it got really ugly, really fast.
Me: *staring at boy* "Do you know I just got out of prison?"
Boy: *eyes get really big* "What did you do?"
Me: "I killed a snot nosed brat for playing with my hair."
Boy: *eyes bulge out of socket, turns around & plops his ass down*
cue Mom
Mom: "You can't say things like that to children."
Me: "Well, I believe I just did."
Mom: "He was just playing."
Me: "I guess now he will think twice about fucking with someone strangers hair."
Mom: *insert vague threats to my person here*
Me: "I have an idea. Why don't you take your children home & put them in bed, seeing as how it is almost midnight?"
Mom: *insert more threats & nonsense*
intercom: Shower card #10 please report to the fuel desk
Me: *grabs shower bag & walks to fuel counter*
I just want to know why for the love of all that is fucking holy, would you be feeding your kids at a truck stop at midnight??? Don't they have beds they should be in? Maybe teach your kid some manners. How to behave in public. Or respect other people's personal space. I've got a really novel idea, how about being their parent instead of their friend??
I bow to your awesomeness for standing up to that Mombie.
ReplyDeleteI can't STAND brats' fingers in my hair. It happens to me when I'm in a restaurant sitting in a BOOTH minding my own bidness. A brat will be jumping around on the seat in the BOOTH BEHIND ME (a separate booth) and I'll feel little fingers hitting my hair and stuff. I always snap around violently and GLARE at the non-parenting parent who is allowing the kid to assault a stranger. If they keep it up I snap something at them like, "Keep your kid out of my space!" When I was little we ate in restaurants and we would not have DREAMED of standing up on a booth seat in the first place, much less toying with people in other booths over the backrest, etc.
ReplyDeleteAfter they get done at Mickeys - next up - El Marto Del Wal for that essential midnight shopping experience. When do the little snots get any sleep?
ReplyDeleteMan, I'm behind in my reading.... YOU ARE MY IDOL!!!
ReplyDelete